I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
