I skipped work to stalk him.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
