the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
