dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
