the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
