i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
