You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
