I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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