He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
