I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
