is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
