we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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