I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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