girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
