I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
