I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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