Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize