She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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