i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
