how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
