babies were throwing up all over the place
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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