I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
