my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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