i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
