Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
two words...techno handjob
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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