Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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