We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
