Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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