Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
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