Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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