So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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