He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
