I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just gift wrapped bread.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
