No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
