I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
