Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
