It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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