All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize