I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
