There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
