You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
MIDGETS
????
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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