I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
