Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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