So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
