I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize