I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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