Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
