I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
