She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
