The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize
