from now on my penis is your penis
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize