I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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