Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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