I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
