How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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