I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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