well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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