Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
How's work?
Spinning.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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