A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
