He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
There's even glitter on my cock...
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