remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
