i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
