When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
